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Ok here it is, My last diary entry here at cbl. Im not really sure where to begin. First i want to thank EVERYONE for making this such a memorable experiance. First and foremost, Zac and jonathan. You have provided me with this environment that I have learned so much and had so much fun. It takes 2 very special people to open up their beautiful home to first the members of this site and secondly to us...the cbl boys. Along with a wonderful experiance you have also provided your friendship aswell which i will always treasure. Secondly i want to thank the members of this site. Thank you for being there for me. You have all made it fun and easy to truely be myself. Most of all my thanks goes out to my room mates zac and jonathan included. You have all been like family to me, and mean so very much to me. We have all been threw alot together and I will never forget ANY of you. Zac Jonathan, Brock, Kevin, Jim, Sean, Rob, jeff and nick. You are all im my heart. I have learned so much from each and every one of you, and all of you out there.
I came to cbl early in early September in a frame of mind that seems so distant and far away now that i look back on it. I had no idea what to expect or what i was in for. All i knew was i was about to embark on a six month journy on display for all to see. I wanted to show people that there is more to gay life than jumping from one bed to another. CBL being the kind of site it is gave me a unique opportunity to do so. As sex was a small part of my life here at cbl those who have watched me know that there IS much more to my life than sex. At the time, yes it was partially a last ditch effort to save a relationship that was slipping from my grasp. Of corse at the time i didnt see that.......living with my boyfriend just seemed to be an added bonus to the experience. I ignored EVERYONES concerns about my decision to come to cbl, but had I heeded their warnings I would have never had the opportunity to grow and change as i have. All my life i have done that. Threw what ever twist of fate I have always chosen a path that would turn out to be the most difficult, not that it is always a conscious decision but no matter how hard it is it is usually the path that yields the most change and learning.
If i have learned anything in life it is that life is about learning from the past. The most important thing is to remember that what is TRUELY improtant in life is not what circumstancially happens threw either fate or consciousness, but what we take away from consequence. Nothing is coincidental. A situation which may seem momentarily unfortunate is only so for the time being. The quickest way to learn is through pain, which is yes uncomfortable, but usually tends to yield greater happiness. So do we go through life purposly setting ourselves up to fail? No. life has a natural current that will carry you along with it, so basically you will fail or succeed whether you plan on it or not. It is the fear of failure that can destroy us if we let it. Fear is one of the most useless reactions to an emotion. All we can do is make the best out of what life has to offer and the decisions we make which in turn creates the reallity in which we live. . So why do we seem to make the same mistakes? Because we allow ourselves to become distracted with the distructive things and we forget how simple it is. There will again come a time just like before when i forget this wisdom and allow fear to rule my life, but that experience will ultamatly resolidify this key to life, and THAT is what makes life beautiful.
Make life beautiful, and enjoy everything life has to offer because to quote a favorite song of mine, "everything in life is only for now."
take care, and Ill be seeing you all soon.
I love you all
LA LA!
The time is REALLY flying. It kina scares me that the seventh is coming up so fast. Im nervous in alot of ways, but ultimatly im really excited. Everything is going to depend on this trip to key west on monday. Here is the thing. Zac and i had a little miscomunication on when my departure date was so i made all these plans on moving the 7th of this month. I have to go down this week to see if my deposits are refundable and if so if there will be anything available when i need it on the 7th of may. So zac and i agreed that if i cant re arrange the dates, since it was an honest mistake, he would be ok with me leaving on the 7th of april. I would like to stay till the 7th of may, but i have already gotten the ball rolling with the 7th of april. Jon Jon and i are having our little problems, but in a way its a little refreshing that we are getting alot of this stuff out of the way so to speak. Here is the thing with that. We are fighting about alot of stuff that couples mainly fight about later on in a relationship after the honeymoon period. We are learning alot about eachothers idiosyncrisies early on and how to deal with eachother when we are being unreasonable. I have a really good feeling about things and i think in alot of ways we are a great match. I have alot of past issues that i just need to let go of if this is going to work. One of my favorit quotes from one of my favorite musicals is, "You never know till you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb." So we will see. Regardless, I will be ok.
As the week draws to a close I am closer and closer to facing the departure from cbl and the departure from the best friends i have made in orlando. This is very sad for me and i am heartbroken i just cant take them all with me.
My room mate interactions have been really good. No problems what so ever with ANYONE even zac and i are getting along really good so i dont really have alot to report on on that front. Im going to draw to a close now cause i have to get ready and packed to go to key west tomarrow.
Ill let everyone know how everything went when i get homo!
MAUH
and see you in wednsdays chat
HUGS
LALA
Where to begin. Well this week has ben mixed. I have alot of feelings im having trouble making sence of. First of all I am relly happy to be moving forward in my life. I am so excited about moving to Key West. On the other hand im REALLY sad to leave my friends. My heart breaks to know i wount be able to wake up to my room mates every day. I know that alot of you dont really understand the plutomic nature of our relationship but when i leave on the seventh, I will be leaving my dearest truest friendsI along with a truely touched pice of my heart. and i know brock and i had some problems but i knew him LONG before cbl and he means ALOT to me. Part of me will always love him. Now I know i will just be six hours a way..well a hour or two by plane but I am reallllly going to miss everyone. So im this ODD mixture of happy and sad.
Ive spent the entire week thinking very carefully about this move and also alot of other things. Ive been doing alot of looking back. Examining the decisions i have made in the past. but mainly i have ben thinking about this move to key west and making sure its wat i really want to do. I have come to the decision that it is what i want and it is a sound decision. I will spend this next week planing and getting everything in order.
lets start my room mate interactions with Zac.
Now i care about zac agreat deal and he is a cool guy. BUT he has these little spouts of immiturity where you would think he was a 12 yearold. he took to attacking me in his dayily happenings which was somewhat suprising and somewhat not. The situation centered on me coming to zac saturday and asking him if I did my chores and sunday cleaning early if i could go surfing on sunday. he said that it was fine as long as we could get everyone together for the meeting at somepoint in the day. Well everyone was gone all day so we wernt able to have the meeting early. when everyone got home, zac was in bed so i asked if everyone was going to be around sunday evening and if anyone had a problem with having the meeting later in the afternoon or later that night. everyone was cool with that EXCEPT zac. now I dont see what the hell the differance is of weather we had the meeting saturday evening or sunday except that zac wanted to be controling. I mean he was the one who suguested that we have the meeting on a different day to begin with. But anyway. HE won, I did the right thing and stayed around sunday as to not cause any problems, and in my opinion it should have been droped. I mentioned how pissed i was because i really wanted to go surfing, so zac puts in his daily happenings that im nothing but a winy little bitch that does nothing but sit on my ass all day. well mabe i dont have a job and yah mabe i do stay home all day, but he is still cashing a paycheck off my "Lazy ass" every month so i dont know what the FUCK he is bitching about. The fact of the matter is that that he does this to all the CBL boys on their way out...im not sure what this accomplishes except makining himself look like an ass but hey...its good for a few laughs. Hopefully he realises how pointless this is and we can still part on "good terms" I think zac ginuinly cares for us all, mabe that is why he tries to push us away or keep us at a distance.
Jonathan is my favorite LA LA. he is doing good at his job and seams to really enjoy working with the horses. Its good to see him enjoying himself with a FUN hobie that pays well. Jonathan and i are close as ever and we will continue to be long after my time at cbl i suspect.
Nick. Nick is making a good transition into the house. I am so glad to have him here. he is a breath of fresh air.and really enjoyable to be around. Nick is as gunuine as they come which is case and point why i pulled so hard to get him in here. He has a great personallity and he is going to go far in life and i believe he will learn alot from his experiance here at cbl.
Rob. I love my pumpkin to death. He has been THE most influential, he is as dear to me as a blood reletive. Rob has been directing the show via email this week and made a trip to gainsville to whip some people into shape. lol. well this week has been hard because we both know that the date has been set and niether of us want to talk about it. I love you pumpkin. you are and will always be a brother to me. You mean more to me than you will ever know.
Jeff. MY baby jeffie. We sooo connect on so many different levels. I was really critical of him in the very beginning. and i cant tell you how wrong i was. Jeff is my little sweetheart and i love him to death. we share alot of things in comon and he will remain dear to my heart. I love you jeff!!
Brock. I know i k now. brock has left. but it just dosnt feel right not mentioning him in my diary. Brock and i will always remain friends. we have had our share of downs, but through it we remain friends. I wish my feelings were different sometimes. All i wanted was for brock to be my one and only for the longest time that is all i wanted. And now that he can do that.......its after i MADE myself sever those feelings for him. I want so badly for him to be happy, but i can not do that. Brock i will always be here for you as a friend and will love you as such for ever!
that does it for my diary this week. Only a few more left guys
OMG i cant believe its been six months already. CBL and its members will be forever imprinted on my life. I have grown and changed so much for the better. I cant thank you all enough.
MAUH
and hugs!
LA LA !
OK!!! here it is, diary time and i have as always waited till the last minute to do mine. Which sucks cause im reallllllly tired. ok well im going to do this diary different since it has been almost 2 weeks since the last entry and in intrest of saving time i will just go over the major events. The major event was ofcorse my vacation. i had the best time in YEARS. I did alot of reflection and came to alot of decisions about my life. The other reason for this vacation was that i wanted to see if mabe there was something there between Jon Jon and I. I can tell you this. I had a GREAT time with jon jon and despite wnat people say about him, he is just not living up to his reputation for being a manipulator. nothing any of you have said about him has been based on factual information or based on the idea that you know him personally. Who are any of you to judge ANY of us without knowing us personally. I can Honestly say that i could date Jon Jon. SO why dont I? we entered into things purposly not putting any labels on anything. I told him of somthing progresses it will progress but im not going to push anything. Mabe its because i am afraid that everyone is right. That I cant bare to be betrayed again. I think a mojor part of it is because i dont want to "Jump into anything" If there is something between Jon Jon and i relationship wise it will progress over time. I am in no hurry to make myself vonerable to get hurt again. I have also come to the conclusion that i dont NEED to be with someone to be happy. So that is another reason im not rushing into somthing. Emotionally ther is something between jon jon and i and it is great, but my years on this earth have tought me that it takes more than emotions to have a good relationship. and if that is the direction our friendship will take it will do it on its own. he and I arent pushing for it. Key West was AWSOME!!!!! What a beautiful place! I fell in love with it so much I am considering moving there. I have a few contacts down there and could easily get a job and a place to live for relitivly cheap so that is under consideration. The Major decision i made while on vacation is that i dont think i will be renewing my contract here at CBL. I have been thinking about this for a long time. the main reason is that i feel like my life is standing still while im here. I love CBL and I LOVE ZAC AND JONATHAN AND THE REST OF MY ROOMIES LIKE CRAZY, and i will SOOOOO MISS THEM. I will miss CBL all together. the members that i have made my friends will be with me for a long time to come. I have learned so much about myself and life in general while being here this experiance has been verry fulflling. I guess my main reason for not renewing my contract is that its time to move on. I have oppertunities in life that I can not accomplish if I remain here at CBL. BUt DONT GET ALL SAD, I still have a while before my contract is up and we still have quite a bit of time together. And I also plan on leaving on GOOD terms so i will always be back for visits and I will be in chat and Ill be giving you all updates. So, lets enjoy the time we have left together. the rest of the time i have been away has been spent just reflecting on the past six months.
The other major news is Brock leaving CBL. Now I realy have mixed feelings about this. Everyone knows about our past together. my delema is that while I care alot for brock and I will miss him alot, it took me soooo much disconecting of my emotions for him so I could peacefully live under the same roof, its just kind of strange. part of me is honestly relieved. but a HUGE part of me knows how much I will miss him in my everyday life. Looking back on everything, I can honestly say that while it was not the greatest idea to move in but i dont regret anything. I learned alot. I have whitnessed brock change recently hugely in the way that I wanted him to change while he and I were still together. It was the hardest thing to tell him that it was too late, but only cause I knew it hurt him so much. I Know the changes he has made will make him a happier person and i hope he finds that he can be with exclusivly like he wants. i think brock has made alot of positive changes. There is no question HE WILL BE MISSED. But brock and I will remain friends long after cbl. I think we learned alot from eachother and will continue to do so. Brock, good luck to you babe and Ill see ya on the outs!
Nick has made his entry into the house. I honestly feel kind of bad for him. I know this is going to piss off people but i feel like im the only person in the house that has not treated him like a sex object. Its not cause im not attracted to him because Nick is fucking beautiful. and not in a bad way but nick's personallity and mental mindset intrests me more than his body. He is almost innocent and nieve and its a little scary how trusting he is. I dont know i just feel protective over him for some reason. LOL I think CBL is a good place to learn about yourself and alot about life, i just hope he dosnt get sucked into the classic CBL trap like so many do including myself. but I think he will make a GREAT CBL boy and he will have alot of fun here and that is what it is all about. Welcome to the house nick!!! huggs!
Rob has been rob. he seams alot more relaxed now since the show ended last week. I missed him alot on my vacation and was really glad to see him. Ive missed our rob and david time and hope to have some more.
Jeff is Jeff!!! I really missed him. it was so good to see him again. I hope to hang out with him alot this week.
Zac and jonathan are kinda hard to read these days. Im not quite sure what to expect from them. they are both so tence lately. Me and jonathan dont talk like we used to and its kina strange. but i love my little LA LA. I have been trying to talk both of them on taking like a three day vacation from CBL. they need one.
Other than that it is GREAT to be home and i had a really good time on vacation and i cant wait to go back to key west. I was truely happy there.
You all have a great week and i look forword to your emails and chatting with you. Email me at david@collegeboyslive.com and HAVE A GREAT WEEK.
This has been an interesting week. The past few diary entries i have stated that im not getting involved with anything that dosnt have anything to do with me directly. Well would'nt ya know as soon as I make that statement ALL kinds of drama that effects me starts to happen. FUCK I JUST CANT ESCAPE IT.
It turns out ive been lied to and made a fool of. I should be used to this all by now. Moving on.
I got some great medicine for my cough and I go back for a little checkup on tuesday. Wednsday I start on my vacation. It has been long awaited and well deserved. I am going to an undisclosed location, but there will be beach, cabana boys and tropical drinks in coconut shells. I plan to let my troubles get caried away by the roaring tide. YAAAY!!!! im so excited!!!
I will keep you all updaded and let you know how the vacation is going.
I want to congradulate our new CBL boy NICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAY!!! It has been a grueling process and im OOO SOOOO glad its over.
My room mate interactions have been great this past week. I LOVE ALL MY ROOMIES TO DEATH!!!!! Zaccie and jonathan have been soo sweet and supporitve, Jeff and I have been there for eachother....we can relate! lol Brock is living out his final daays at cbl and has been wonderful. You will be missed brockiepooh! Puck.....i mean Rob...(hehe) has just finished another fabulous theatrical weekend and we are glad to have him home again. We love our little PUCK!!
Everyone have a great week and I will be back from vacation not this friday but next friday. MAUH!!!! Ill miss CBL and all of you a great deal.
TTFN!
yaay!! another week has gone by at CBL. This week I have been trying to lay low. Last week I talked about realizing that I am cought up in many parodoxes. So what do you do when you realize you are in a paradox? You evaluate what brought you to that point. That seams simple and logical but its not as easy as it sounds. this Idea structure is still under construction but I think Im on to somthing. Ill let you know what I come up with.
I have noticed that I save alot of useful energy by not envolving myself in things that have nothing to do with me. Even though it IS human nature to worry about things we can not change, it is challenging none the less. but its true, if you can get pased all that shit you have alot more time to mentally relax and that is extreemly gratifying.
This next week I will be trying to lay low, and stear clear of drama. I have enough on my plate to worry about. I will be finding new ways to channel my energy. so wish me luck with that.
I have to give alot of thanks to Jon Jon. He has definatly enhanced the happiness in my life lately. this past weekendwas awsome. He is a great friend who bears the burdon of a reputation that does not give him the credit he deserves. Jon Jon Is SOOOOOOOOOOO fucking sweet and careing it suprised me. He Is a great friend and a wonderful energy for me to be around. I will say this once and once only. Jon Jon and I are FRIENDS im tired of people insinuating that there is somthing sexual going on with he and I. Long ago I explained in a diary how I like to surround myself with people who lift me up and are positive people to be around. People who just make you feel good. I enjoy being around him because contrary to popular belief Jon Jon is probly one of the most drama free I know right now. it has been a pleasure having him around. he is a good friend, and is NOTHING like how he has been discribed to me by some people.
I have had several interesting conversations with people this weekend having to do with several topics, one of those having to do with trust.
which brings us to that portion of the diary where i express some valuable advice that I need to remember, adhear, and apply to my own life.
In all trust there is the possibillity of betrayal, im not sure anyone is ever fully prepared for that. So is it better not to trust? Without trust there is no friendship, no closeness, none of the emotional bonds that make us who we are, and yet you put yourself at risk every time. I have often wished I could be spared the emotional consiquences but those consiquences ultimatly shape us as we grow and learn to evolve.
On that note
have a great week!!!
Ok, So once again Iam going to change the format in which I write my diaries. I want to try something different. It seams that most diaries are a compilation of daily happenings all rolled into one. I was always under the impression that a diary is to hold your deepest thoughts and feelings. I generally try to keep my diary general and ???easy to read??? well, sometimes that gets in the way and distorts the continuity of random thoughts and expressions of emotions I believe that the purpose of keeping a diary is to help someone organize their thoughts and emotions??? ???Getting it all down on paper??? tends to help a lot of people think, speak and act more clearly
I am finding life very interesting at the present moment. It???s amazing how balance and karma are SO present in EVERYTHING and EVERY situation. I am finding life???s little paradoxes almost amusing but mostly frustrating. Currently being caught up in a few paradoxes at one time, I realize this is the reason for my odd moods and ???different??? behavior. The problem is I keep feeding back into the paradox, which causes it to get larger. Not till recently did I realize that ALL week long I have been trying to figure out what I am realizing now and I have been choosing a course of action that just perpetuates the loop. Normally I have these epiphanies when I am meditating. I am able to view my life and surroundings in a separated frame of mind. It is amazing how clear you can see things if you just remove yourself from it, which is why I think I will be doing a lot more meditating. It is odd. Meditation and some other spiritual activities were such a HUGE part of my life before I moved into CBL and for some reason I have totally abandoned my practices. I think part of it was my dating someone who is heavily of the Christian persuasion and was a little frightened of the meditating, candles, and incense. I think he thought I was going to sacrifice a cat or something. LOL. For whatever reason it was abandoned it is time I get back into the swing of things.
I have also noticed that I am far to ready to get involved in things that really don???t concern me and I expend a great deal of energy worrying about things I can not effect or change. So it will be a conscious effort on my part this week to avoid that.
There is a lot of work to be done, improving my situation and myself will take an awful lot of energy, so the less energy I waste on things that I have no control over, the better.
It???s amazing when (metaphorically) ???The fog clears??? and you wonder what the hell you were thinking all this time???it seams so simple.
To be totally honest with you all I have been so wrapped up and enveloped in my own emotions and ???Funk??? this week to really notice much that is going on in the house. There have been a few grumbling along the way???a few battles I chose to fight that would have been better left ignored. So instead of rehashing these insignificant things I'm going to let it go. Tomorrow is the start of a new week.
Here is a new section I???m adding to each week???s written diary. They are going to be little things that I need to constantly remind myself of. It is all my philosophy but we all seam to forget our own best advice when it comes to applying it to our own lives so here is some philosophy for this week.
You are all you need to survive. No one person can make you happy besides yourself. Other people can enhance happiness but true happiness comes from within, from being happy with yourself, from loving yourself.
On that note I???m going to leave it at that. I know this diary is a little different, but who ever said we had to be predictable.
Have a great week and think positive.
Ok, So once again I???m going to change the format in which I write my diaries. I want to try something different. It seams that most diaries are a compilation of daily happenings all rolled into one. I was always under the impression that a diary is to hold your deepest thoughts and feelings. I generally try to keep my diary general and ???easy to read??? well, sometimes that gets in the way and distorts the continuity of random thoughts and expressions of emotions I believe that the purpose of keeping a diary is to help someone organize their thoughts and emotions??? ???Getting it all down on paper??? tends to help a lot of people think, speak and act more clearly
I am finding life very interesting at the present moment. It???s amazing how balance and karma are SO present in EVERYTHING and EVERY situation. I am finding life???s little paradoxes almost amusing but mostly frustrating. Currently being caught up in a few paradoxes at one time, I realize this is the reason for my odd moods and ???different??? behavior. The problem is I keep feeding back into the paradox, which causes it to get larger. Not till recently did I realize that ALL week long I have been trying to figure out what I am realizing now and I have been choosing a course of action that just perpetuates the loop. Normally I have these epiphanies when I am meditating. I am able to view my life and surroundings in a separated frame of mind. It is amazing how clear you can see things if you just remove yourself from it, which is why I think I will be doing a lot more meditating. It is odd. Meditation and some other spiritual activities were such a HUGE part of my life before I moved into CBL and for some reason I have totally abandoned my practices. I think part of it was my dating someone who is heavily of the Christian persuasion and was a little frightened of the meditating, candles, and incense. I think he thought I was going to sacrifice a cat or something. LOL. For whatever reason it was abandoned it is time I get back into the swing of things.
I have also noticed that I am far to ready to get involved in things that really don???t concern me and I expend a great deal of energy worrying about things I can not effect or change. So it will be a conscious effort on my part this week to avoid that.
There is a lot of work to be done, improving my situation and myself will take an awful lot of energy, so the less energy I waste on things that I have no control over, the better.
It???s amazing when (metaphorically) ???The fog clears??? and you wonder what the hell you were thinking all this time???it seams so simple.
To be totally honest with you all I have been so wrapped up and enveloped in my own emotions and ???Funk??? this week to really notice much that is going on in the house. There have been a few grumbling along the way???a few battles I chose to fight that would have been better left ignored. So instead of rehashing these insignificant things I'm going to let it go. Tomorrow is the start of a new week.
Here is a new section I???m adding to each week???s written diary. They are going to be little things that I need to constantly remind myself of. It is all my philosophy but we all seam to forget our own best advice when it comes to applying it to our own lives so here is some philosophy for this week.
You are all you need to survive. No one person can make you happy besides yourself. Other people can enhance happiness but true happiness comes from within, from being happy with yourself, from loving yourself.
On that note I???m going to leave it at that. I know this diary is a little different, but who ever said we had to be predictable.
Have a great week and think positive.
WOW!! What a week. It all started with the pageant in Gainesville last weekend. It went really good and I???m so very proud of rob. He did so well. I however had a bit of an accident. I had been taking this KICK ass allergy medicine I have a prescription for an I had forgotten how badly it effects you if you drink while on it. I had a bit to drink and I blacked out during the pageant. NOT GOOD since I was to be judging it. Well I came out of it and finished judging it and everything turned out for the better but it was from what I was told very scary. I was told I turned blue. And almost had the paramedics called. I???m just glad I came out of it
The rest of the pageant went well. I was also having a hard time due to some personal family problems I have been going threw.
I had a really good time in Gainesville this weekend, and cant wait to come back and open the other show. Mid summer night???s dream. That will be opening Friday the 13th.
The rest of the week has been really good. Not too eventful. We had applicants all week Jiovoni and Nick. I think polling will open soon, so don???t forget to vote. Today is the start of a new week and I look forward to enjoying it.
Room mate interactions this week have been great!
Brock and I are getting along really good.
Rob has been a GOD sent this week with just being there for me. I have been going threw some really hard family problems along with the broken heart syndrome. So rob has really truly been there for me and I am soooo lucky to have him as a friend.
Jeff and I have been getting along really well too.
Jonathan has been good, we always get along good but honestly he seams to be a little edgy about something. Not quite sure what, but zac has been that way too lately. Just really not normal. Usually around this time with memberships on the rise and the house full, he usually is more relaxed but h and Jonathan have really been on edge lately. They are doing really great relationship wise. They seam to really be doing well with each other.
It has been an emotional week for me but like I said today is the start of a new week and I can only hope for good things to come my way!!
Ya all have a great week and stay safe!!
MAUH!
Hello! How was your week? Mine has been a really hard week. I am taking this Jerry thing A LOT harder than I ever expected I would. We did date for almost a month???but even still???I feel kina silly being this bent up about it. I guess my feelings were deeper than I thought they were for Jerry???Which is what makes it so hard. I???ve never broken up with anyone. It was really hard to do it. I can HONESTLY tell you that I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. But I know I would not be happy. I just don???t see what is so hard about just seeing one person at a time. I don???t understand this???can someone explain it to me, and explain it to my heart. I don???t know what it is im doing to attract people that want nothing to do with monogamous sex???.That is all I want???someone who doesn???t want to have sex with more than one person!! Sometimes I feel like im the ONLY FAG who values loyalty anymore!!!!!!!! Sometimes I just want to scream!! ???WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE, but the truth is NOTHING is wrong with anyone. This is just how things are done?? I feel that need to scream again. I want to make something clear???..This is in LARGE part MY fault because I seam to seek out this particular trait in people???.JERRY IS NOT AT FAULT HERE I don???t want all kinds of people thinking he did something wrong cause he didn???t. He cant help where he is in his decision making process and I don???t want him to be faulted for that. At least the QUALLITY of man I seam to attract has gone up???at least this one was honest???at least this one didn???t betray my heart. Jerry is a WONDERFUL guy and we are GREAT friends, which I am MORE than happy with.
Most of the week I have just been working on pageant stuff for this weekend.
I would like to talk about something that has REALLY set me off. My annoyances stem from the fact that it has been MURDER trying to get this weekend CBL approved. While yes, zaccie has met us half way on a lot of stuff about the meeting and stuff???.I don???t feel that that should be necessary. We aren???t going up there to party and have a good time???WE ARE GOING UP THERE TO WORK. THIS IS A JOB. I could understand the resistance if we were going to a big party in Gainesville, but this is a job for me and this is how rob earns his living. He owns an equity theater. Its not just going to be the pageant this weekend we will be working on, we have to tear down the pageant and build a whole new set design and decorate for the opening of mid summers nights dream. Well anyway, our plan was to leave Saturday morning and be in Gainesville in time to do shopping for the wet bar, and put the rest of the show together. Well due to BROCK wanting to go out and party all night???.we cant have the meeting until one in the afternoon cause he wont be home in the morning. So we will not be able to get to Gainesville till around 2 or 3, which totally fucks everything up and puts it off schedule. The thing that burns my ass is that we have been talking about this for the past week and a half. Now Lowrie(the producer and part owner) is going to get in trouble from the pageant people cause we are going to be REALLY behind schedule. I hope Brock had fun!
Everyone???speaking of behind schedule???I need to get going???.I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and I will see you on Monday or wed one of the two.
MAUH
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