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Hello! How was your week? Mine has been a really hard week. I am taking this Jerry thing A LOT harder than I ever expected I would. We did date for almost a month???but even still???I feel kina silly being this bent up about it. I guess my feelings were deeper than I thought they were for Jerry???Which is what makes it so hard. I???ve never broken up with anyone. It was really hard to do it. I can HONESTLY tell you that I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth. But I know I would not be happy. I just don???t see what is so hard about just seeing one person at a time. I don???t understand this???can someone explain it to me, and explain it to my heart. I don???t know what it is im doing to attract people that want nothing to do with monogamous sex???.That is all I want???someone who doesn???t want to have sex with more than one person!! Sometimes I feel like im the ONLY FAG who values loyalty anymore!!!!!!!! Sometimes I just want to scream!! ???WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE, but the truth is NOTHING is wrong with anyone. This is just how things are done?? I feel that need to scream again. I want to make something clear???..This is in LARGE part MY fault because I seam to seek out this particular trait in people???.JERRY IS NOT AT FAULT HERE I don???t want all kinds of people thinking he did something wrong cause he didn???t. He cant help where he is in his decision making process and I don???t want him to be faulted for that. At least the QUALLITY of man I seam to attract has gone up???at least this one was honest???at least this one didn???t betray my heart. Jerry is a WONDERFUL guy and we are GREAT friends, which I am MORE than happy with.
Most of the week I have just been working on pageant stuff for this weekend.
I would like to talk about something that has REALLY set me off. My annoyances stem from the fact that it has been MURDER trying to get this weekend CBL approved. While yes, zaccie has met us half way on a lot of stuff about the meeting and stuff???.I don???t feel that that should be necessary. We aren???t going up there to party and have a good time???WE ARE GOING UP THERE TO WORK. THIS IS A JOB. I could understand the resistance if we were going to a big party in Gainesville, but this is a job for me and this is how rob earns his living. He owns an equity theater. Its not just going to be the pageant this weekend we will be working on, we have to tear down the pageant and build a whole new set design and decorate for the opening of mid summers nights dream. Well anyway, our plan was to leave Saturday morning and be in Gainesville in time to do shopping for the wet bar, and put the rest of the show together. Well due to BROCK wanting to go out and party all night???.we cant have the meeting until one in the afternoon cause he wont be home in the morning. So we will not be able to get to Gainesville till around 2 or 3, which totally fucks everything up and puts it off schedule. The thing that burns my ass is that we have been talking about this for the past week and a half. Now Lowrie(the producer and part owner) is going to get in trouble from the pageant people cause we are going to be REALLY behind schedule. I hope Brock had fun!
Everyone???speaking of behind schedule???I need to get going???.I hope you all have a wonderful weekend and I will see you on Monday or wed one of the two.
MAUH