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yaay!! another week has gone by at CBL. This week I have been trying to lay low. Last week I talked about realizing that I am cought up in many parodoxes. So what do you do when you realize you are in a paradox? You evaluate what brought you to that point. That seams simple and logical but its not as easy as it sounds. this Idea structure is still under construction but I think Im on to somthing. Ill let you know what I come up with.

I have noticed that I save alot of useful energy by not envolving myself in things that have nothing to do with me. Even though it IS human nature to worry about things we can not change, it is challenging none the less. but its true, if you can get pased all that shit you have alot more time to mentally relax and that is extreemly gratifying.
This next week I will be trying to lay low, and stear clear of drama. I have enough on my plate to worry about. I will be finding new ways to channel my energy. so wish me luck with that.
I have to give alot of thanks to Jon Jon. He has definatly enhanced the happiness in my life lately. this past weekendwas awsome. He is a great friend who bears the burdon of a reputation that does not give him the credit he deserves. Jon Jon Is SOOOOOOOOOOO fucking sweet and careing it suprised me. He Is a great friend and a wonderful energy for me to be around. I will say this once and once only. Jon Jon and I are FRIENDS im tired of people insinuating that there is somthing sexual going on with he and I. Long ago I explained in a diary how I like to surround myself with people who lift me up and are positive people to be around. People who just make you feel good. I enjoy being around him because contrary to popular belief Jon Jon is probly one of the most drama free I know right now. it has been a pleasure having him around. he is a good friend, and is NOTHING like how he has been discribed to me by some people.

I have had several interesting conversations with people this weekend having to do with several topics, one of those having to do with trust.
which brings us to that portion of the diary where i express some valuable advice that I need to remember, adhear, and apply to my own life.

In all trust there is the possibillity of betrayal, im not sure anyone is ever fully prepared for that. So is it better not to trust? Without trust there is no friendship, no closeness, none of the emotional bonds that make us who we are, and yet you put yourself at risk every time. I have often wished I could be spared the emotional consiquences but those consiquences ultimatly shape us as we grow and learn to evolve.
On that note
have a great week!!!