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While I was sleeping I was dreaming that Brock was lying beside me holding me telling me how much he loved me. When I woke Brock was standing over me telling me to wake up for work. I suddenly remembered that he was no longer my boyfriend and all those feelings came rushing back like a flood. I instantly began to cry. After composing myself, I drug myself out of bed and got ready for work. Thank god for Jonathan. He took me to work since Brock used to be my ride to work in the morning. He and Sean has been key in my not loosing my mind. Without them and the support of zaccie, Kevin and the members I don???t know what I would do. Work sucked so badly today. It was all I could do to keep my composure. I made about 15 dollars cause it was soooo slow!
I came home and went straight to my room to have a good ball. I watched a movie but it made me sad cause it was about two boys who fall in love. And it was remarkably similar to the way Brock and I met and clicked right away.
I found myself getting angry and the guy on the screen cause he was saying everything Brock said to me. I threw my shoe at the TV and left. I slept till about 8 and went down to watch star trek. Brock came out of chat and started talking to me and I really didn???t know how to react. I carried on a civil conversation with him about work and such but I kept getting choked up while I was talking to him and I don???t know if he noticed or not. But all I wanted to do was tell him I love him
I got drunk in my chat. It was the only way I saw that I could be able to let off a little cum???I mean steam.
After that I went right to bed. MY ASS SLEPT IN!! The next morning had more dreams of Brock and I Being together. Waking up feeling like discarded trash. I think they refer to what I am going threw now as the PISED THE FUCK OFF stage. Today feeling very antagonistic and holding a fuck the world frame of mind
The rest of the week I just worked like crazy trying to keep my mind off shit.
Thanksgiving was really cool. It was a bummer because I was supposed to go with Brock to his family???s house. I was really sad. I did drink about a half bottle of wine and a whole bottle of champagne to my self. Hey it helped. Zaccie and Jonathan were so much fun to hang around! They have really been making this easier on me. They are becoming like family. As is everyone in the house
A special thanks to Tom Orlando for the fabulous feast he provided!!!! It was delish!!!
Sunday was Christmas decorating time!!!!!!!!
YAAY
I love decorating for Christmas!!!!!!!!
Hopefully I get to do more
Here are my interactions with the roommates.

Zaccie.
Zaccie has been wonderful in the way of making cbl a wonderful place to live. He has been really going out of his way for us and we love him for it.
Jonathan.
I???m having a lot of fun with you decorating and hopefully we get to do more.
Sean.
I am so sad that Sean is leaving he is a good friend and I hope we see a lot of him after he leaves CBL!!
Kevin
I haven???t seen much of kevie this week but all is good I luv ya buddy
Brock
I am still torn up about our situation while I do believe this is for the better it doesn???t help the pain any. I am a strong person and I will be fine???..I just hope it hurries up lol
I love you Brock together or not. You are so special to me and we will be great friends
Lots of love
DAVID